Monday 7 April 2014

Untitled (trying not to think about time...)

I've been thinking a lot about time lately. Well, more pressingly, the lack thereof. 

Time has flown by since George was born five weeks early, almost a year ago. I barely had time to get my head around the fact he was early before the next problem arose. To be frank and honest, I have found having two children to be more of an adjustment than I had imagined. I never feared that I wouldn't love my second child as much as the first, before he was born I already knew I'd love him with every maternal fibre of my being. But I had a tough pregnancy, and his early arrival, although welcome, was also shocking. I think it's taken me this long to be able to deal with it all. Luckily, he had a very smooth delivery and fed brilliantly from the off. 

Colic, reflux and a spell in hospital last month for a virus are all setbacks we've had to deal with and it's not surprising that I have, at times, felt exhausted by it all. My eldest took time to adjust to being a sibling, and he's been pretty miraculous really, being patient and making room for his little brother in our household. But family life has not been without its problems and I'll admit that throughout the past year I've felt exhausted, overwhelmed and rather depressed. The black dog paid me a visit a couple of months ago, but we've dealt with George's reflux, turned his sleep around and helped Albie learn and grow and I think we've come through the other side as a stronger family.

Last summer when I gave my blog its rather good-looking makeover, I was determined to blog again regularly and with renewed vigour. But alas, life took over. I worried that my posts were boring- who would want to read them? Do people even like my crochet? What do I have left to say? And why am I so crap at taking photos? Oh, my poor neglected blog. And oh, my poor, neglected crafty soul.

But, do you know what? I have brushed Mr Doubter off my shoulder and really do have that renewed blogging vigour. I've found that I absolutely do I have stuff to blog about. George is one next week, and then I celebrate five years of learning to crochet! Of course I haven't stopped learning, and teaching and writing patterns continue to be as much as a learning experience for me as for my students and readers. Thank YOU, readers, for sticking with me. I hope this post has not bored you too much. I hope some parents can relate to these feelings, and I hope that my blog continues to be a creative little space where I can express myself in the way I really want to- through colour, craft and inspiration. 

I like to think of social media in general as a continuation of the blogging experience, and although I am rubbish actually at the facebook and twitter and ravelry thing, I love 'micro-blogging' with my Instagram feed and am constantly being inspired by Pinterest. So, although I won't promise to blog every day, or even every week, I will continue to document ideas and inspiration elsewhere. Won't you join me? Buttons are up there in that there sidebar underneath my profile picture. 

Cripes, this post is a lot longer than I anticipated! Sorry about that. See? Loads to say. Ahem.

Anyways, here's to more rambling posts about current obsessions, yarn, crochet, and colour. And some grainy iPhone pics. 

Happy hooking, friends. 
xxx

4 comments:

  1. So pleased to see you back. We do love your crochet and inspiration posts. Sorry its been such a rough year for you but pleased you are seeing a little light at the end of the maternal tunnel.

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  2. Yay! *claps hands* we missed you at Hope & Elvis on Saturday x

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  3. thanks ladies, so lovely to hear from you! I don't know how to reply to each post individually- can anyone help?!

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  4. So happy you are to continue blogging... do like your crochet and colours! My little one was also premature and with the surprise and difficulties at the time it seems like it took a year for me to react to those months and the stress of the past year finally caught up with me... So glad your little family is coming out of this time feeling happier and stronger!

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